Early-bird girlfriend insists her boyfriend wake up at 5 AM to experience "quiet mornings" with her, claims he's lazy because he doesn't want to: 'She says I’m being dismissive and that I “don’t want to make memories” with her'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Mar 6, 2025 6:00 PM EST

When you don't have enough hours in the day, you have a couple of options. You can do everything you can to fit as much as possible in the limited waking hours that you've got, or you can sacrifice sleep to allow yourself more conscious time. I'm sure we all have fallen into the habit of either staying up until 2 AM to finish a project or waking up at 5 AM to finish some big important project that you've waited until the last minute to complete. I'm more in the camp of waking up at 4 AM to finish something because it jolts you into action. Knowing that a paper is due at noon and you have eight hours to come up with something worth turning in is the kind of good stress I need sometimes. I can't wake up at 4 AM to do laundry or wash dishes, but I sure love the option when I'm in a pickle. 

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  • Some people have powerful wills and can regularly wake up at 4 or 5 AM just to stare at the wall and hang out with themself. The girlfriend in this story is one of those people, but her boyfriend is not so sure about doing it with her.

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    Cheezburger Image 10476895232
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITAH for refusing to wake up at 5 AM just to “experience the morning” with my girlfriend?

    My girlfriend (26F) has recently gotten really into the idea of "slow mornings." She read some article about how waking up early, sipping tea, journaling, and watching the sunrise is supposed to be this life-changing experience. Cool, great for her. The problem? She wants me (28M) to do it with her.
    via u/Icy-Card2068
  • 03
    • WEEKLY REVIEW 47.6-23.6 Weekly wins · journaled daily in I didn't let myself s I finally finished all Tasks to be co The set incom Sending portfolio material Finish website conectic Complete 2 blog posts fe social media Schedule morning Weekly learnings to stress mode brticles Never judge a book by it's come in all shapes & forms most beautiful ones can at to the most unusual outer HAPINNESS SCORE plenital clients and Wor the month r. Souls d the lemselves 9. This week's reflection I think a l
    via Prophsee Journals

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 04
    I am not a morning person. I get up at a reasonable time for work, I'm productive, and I don't feel like my life is lacking just because I don't wake up at the crack of dawn to stare at the sky. But she keeps saying it would be "so much better" if we did it together ―like it's some kind of couple's bonding ritual.
    via u/Icy-Card2068
  • 05
    I told her she's free to enjoy her peaceful mornings, but I'm going to enjoy my peaceful sleep. She says I'm being dismissive and that I "don't want to make memories" with her. But why does this have to be a shared activity? We do plenty of things together when I'm actually awake.
    via u/Icy-Card2068
  • 06
    Now she's acting like I'm lazy or unwilling to “better myself” just because I don't want to sit in silence with a cup of tea while the world is still asleep. AITAH for refusing to sacrifice my sleep for this? Or is this just an unnecessary expectation?
    via u/Icy-Card2068
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    Cheezburger Image 10476898048
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Independent-Aide-575 Wow! This is just like my ex. He woke up at 4AM every morning and kept telling me I need to wake up with him. I specifically told him I'm not a morning person, 4AM is too early for me, and I don't want to. He proceeded to start waking me up when he was up anyways. I asked him to please not do that again. He did it AGAIN and I flipped out on him. There are other ways you can "better yourself" why can't she meet you in the middle? A bit ridiculous - I'm a night owl, but I don'
    via u/Icy-Card2068
  • 09
    27GerbalsInMyPants Bro it's 7am where I am I've been up since I took a sh at 430 I've just been scrolling on my phone, hitting the pen, and reading a little
    via u/27GerbalsInMyPants
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    Why TF do people need their SO to be awake and with them constantly. Like just exist near each other. Spend some time in the present on yourself stop making everything either to be a memory or to mimic one. Live in the present and stop living in the past or future. It's damaging your relationships
    via u/27GerbalsInMyPants
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    ali_stardragon I swear to god these kinds of people make me want to scream. Could you imagine how upset they'd get if you dared suggest that they stay awake until 2am to 'better themselves'?
    via u/ali_stardragon
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    cloistered around Morning people are the pushiest people. They assume their way is "right" and they need to force everyone else to be morning people too. You know the last time I accidentally woke my spouse up because he went to bed earlier than me? Never. Night owls know how to be quiet, we're respectful. Morning people are clanging dishes and stomping around.
    via u/cloistered_around
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    • Daddy Bear29401 1d ago The whole point behind "slow mornings" is time to yourself without distractions, not making memories.
    via u/Daddy_Bear29401
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    Twistedhatter13 • 1d ago ΝΤΑ This right here is the only answer I see that makes any kind of sense. I wake up ungodly early every day just the way my brain hole is wired. I love the calm and quiet of the whole world still ton of coffee and a being asleep just me a f silent world it is awesome, what wouldn't be awesome is someone else it up with their
    via u/Twistedhatter13
  • 15
    bulls I chatter. I love my wife, but I love my alone time in the mornings as well. If she decided she needed to get up with me at between 3 & 5 every morning I would welcome the company but I would miss the calm and quiet a lot.
    via u/Twistedhatter13
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    ArkanZin My wife wakes up between 5 and 6 am, every day, even on weekends or during vacation. She loves it. It's her time where she can just do what she wants. I am NOT a morning person. If I can live according to my own schedule, I will fall asleep between 1 and 2 am and wake up around 9 am. For me, the time after 11 pm is my equivalent to her quiet mornings.
    via u/ArkanZin
  • 17
    A few weeks ago, I thought it would be nice to spent a few hours together before the kids woke up. So I set my alarm to 5:30, got up and "surprised" her during her morning routine. It was made very clear to me in rather colorful language that this was one of the stupidest ideas I had ever had in the course of our marriage and that a repeat performance would not be appreciated ;)
    via u/ArkanZin
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    TransportationOk2238 As a wife who gets up at 3 and doesn't work until 530 i soooo feel this. If my hubby wandered down the stairs and interrupted my silence there definitely would be colorful language!!
    via u/TransportationOk2238
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    PickleNotaBigDill I know, right? To me, starting my morning off with somebody chatting at me...no. Just no. I am a morning person. I just want to be left alone for the first hour of the day, to greet the morning bsing on the internet, scroll the news and get my mind on what I want to accomplish, if anything. It's my time of peace.
    via u/PickleNotaBigDill
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    thatcanadianlad_ NTA. She should do what she believes will benefit her, and you should do what will benefit you. If she's mad at you for not waking up at 5am then she is acting immature.
    via u/thatcanadianlad_
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    Connect_Surround_281 I am not a morning person. My husband is and he knows well not to wake me up early unless it's an emergency. Past 12 years, we have made plenty memories and we will make more, all without one of us sacrificing sleep.
    via u/Connect_Surround_281
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    MadManic Megan Giving it a single chance just to please her isn't the worst idea in the world. Yeah it might sk, and you probably will hate it, but she will appreciate the effort and your willingness to do something for her. Then you can say you gave it a chance bc you love her, but it really isn't for you and that you won't continue
    via u/MadManicMegan
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    Unlikely_Novel2242 This! sometimes we try mildly inconvenient things for our partners. There's so many things that my husband has suggested that I was unsure about at first but when we did them together I loved them and vice versa.
    via u/Unlikely_Novel2242
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    Let_me_be_soup If it was me, I'd explain how you guys would be so tired in the evenings you would just want to sleep immediately from work, but suggest a once a week situation where you guys can nap in the afternoon if needed. It's less about the morning, it's more about wanting a special memory with you, or suggest something new and make her aware how you want to make memories with her etc but would prefer something different. Just make her feel important and loved.
    via u/Let_me_be_soup
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    Icy-Card2068 OP That's a good idea- honestly I think this wish mostly stems from her just wanting to spend more time together so I can try to offer some alternatives because it's something I really don't want to disappoint her with
    via u/Icy-Card2068

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boyfriend long term relationship relationship mornings lazy not a morning person morning person reddit story girlfriend morning sleep early Reddit early riser sleeping
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